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How to Meet Emotional Needs
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You are putting a value on coupleship after a time when we
have been extraordinarily mindful about the individual, the new generation,
and the culture of narcissism. You are coming to a time where you are giving
the message about the value of bonding, and that it is a good thing to be in
a bonded relationship.
Quote from RCA-A 12 step program
for Couples by Patrick C., One of the founder's of RCA. Recovering Couples Anonymous
The only requirement for membership in RCA is a desire to
remain in a committed relationship
Committed relationships include, but are not limited to, all
adult relationships regardless of age, sexual orientation, gender
identification, religious background, culture, race, class, national origin,
recovery affiliation, physical or mental challenge, or political persuasion.
The RCA Fellowship actively supports VALUING DIFFERENCES both
within a coupleship and among couples of diverse backgrounds.
The Characteristics of Functional and
Dysfunctional Couples
"Affirmations"
for recovering couples can be read here.
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Together When You Are
Happiest
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Recreational Companionship
is Boring (Part 1)
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Recreational Companionship
is Boring (Part 2) #1
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Recreational Companionship
is Boring (Part 2) #2
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Not Enough Time Together #1
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Not Enough Time Together #2
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How to Survive Infidelity
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ADULTERY / AFFAIR STAGES
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http://www.project-care.org/adultery-marriage.htm
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FRIENDSHIP
: THE HUMAN CAPACITY FOR DRAWING BOUNDARIES AND CROSSING...
bridges non christ
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The
fact that so little energy has been devoted to the exploration of friendship
from a psychoanalytic perspective suggests there is something unspeakable
about it. I was going to say that, in the light of Freuds experience, the
gap was ironic, but I think unspeakable may be nearer the truth. It bears
all the hallmarks of a slip of the mind[19] - maybe a defence against the
danger of confusing the psychotherapeutic relationship with a more normal
friend-to-friend relationship. (Teachers, managers, consultants, social
workers, priests, doctors - many roles have their own version of this fear.)
However, I think that at this point it will actually be more dangerous for
society if psychoanalytic thinkers go on ignoring the theme and leave the
field open for the social psychologists (who tend to see it as a set of
skills to be mastered and stages to be gone through[20]) or - Heaven forbid!
- to the organization behaviourists and management theorists.
I chose the title for this paper because I think the
symposium metaphor of crossing bridges could be used to summarize this
whole theme of friendship as a manifestation of the capacity to contain or
hold. It is not just that friendship can provide a unique type of bridge
between people. There is also something special about its load-bearing
capacity. A bridge [friendship] across deep or fast-flowing water [the
emotions and the unconscious] must reach both banks - and the bank on both
sides must be stable enough to hold the tensions.
the
opening definition I gave in my first letter of friendship as a mature form
of the capacity to contain. It hinges on what is meant by maturity[42].
Mature containment goes beyond seeing friendship as the careful-not-to-hurt-their-feelings
kind of relationship of the primary school playground[43]. It has to include
the possibility of opposition and challenge too - or, in terms of the
Symposiums second metaphor, the readiness to set boundaries.
Boundary-setting is, after all, a form of containment.
So
the mature element of friendship as containment implies having the
capacity to be challenged and to challenge.
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Adultery of
the Heart
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Jesus
called this adultery of the heart.There seem to be a number of stages
involved.
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Reflections by Glass, by Dr. Shirley Glass non Christ
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The
trauma continues until safety is established. Continuing contact between
the unfaithful spouse and the affair partner will delay recovery
The
story of the affair must be shared in order for recovery and healing to
occur. Lack of discussion will maintain the sense of secrecy which
contributed to the intensity of the affair for the involved spouse.
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Together When You Are
Happiest
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Coping with Infidelity:
Beginning (Part 1)
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Coping with Infidelity: The
End (Part 2)
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Cant We Just Forgive and
Forget? #1
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A
partner who insists on bringing up past grievances is not feeling nourished
by the relationship as it is. As you try to ignore all this and pretend that
everything is ok (except for her whining about the past), it is highly
unlikely your relationship will improve. If you can accept this reasoning,
where can you go from here?
In
our experience, couples who are able to regain an alive and trusting
relationship after a betrayal go through a number of steps.
In
the first stage, many partners who have been betrayed often need to know
details: why, where, when, how many times, how many people, etc.
When
the details are sufficiently covered and at least some of the major feelings
have been expressed, there has to be an apology.
Commitment.com
surviving affair
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6/16/2002
- Unsent Letters: Words to the Future
How to write, send, and review letters to yourself and others for future
contemplation.
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Marriage
builders
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Four Rules
to Guide Marital Recovery After an Affair.
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Caution
- on VERY pro divorce site
ONLY
listed 4 these unique articals
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Counseling for
Closure
The transitions of
separation and divorce can be very lonely times. When you feel isolated, try
these suggestions for opening up to friends and family and getting the
emotional support you need.
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Coping with Infidelity:
Restoring (Part 3)
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Coping with Infidelity:
Resentment (Part 4)
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Recovery After an Affair
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